Expert in the Rough, Brian Monahan

Over the weekend I attended a seminar (Life Success Seminars).  One of the insights I took from the seminar is it is real easy to brag about our faults and forget about our successes.

The word “brag” generally carries a negative connotation which leads many us to avoid sharing our successes.  I believe this social norm has contributed to us focusing on our negative qualities and forgetting our strengths and successes.   Almost all success strategies revolve around the idea our reality is directly related to our thoughts and feelings.  Since society does not accept bragging we need to find new ways to acknowledge our successes.

Many of you have probably heard the term “Bragging Rights” which is interesting in its own right.  “Bragging Rights” connotes deserving or righteousness which is probably what rubs people wrong about bragging in the first place.

With all this negative spin regarding bragging I still think people need to share their light, share their successes.

I suggest “Bragging Right” versus “Bragging Rights.”

So how can you brag right?

• Actions speak louder than words you can start by getting engaged in your work and your relationships.  Engagement lends itself to “showing off” your gifts and accomplishments.

• Another technique is showing interest in others.  By asking others about their successes it naturally leads to reciprocal interest.  The most interesting person is the interested person.

• Sharing your knowledge is another way to show off your skills.  You don’t even need to point out your expertise it becomes evident while you are sharing your wisdom.
• Being bold and tooting your own horn occasionally is always an option as well as long as it is balanced with  a sincere interest in others.

So tell me about 5 Things that you are proud of in your life in the comments area of this post?  Don’t pass up this opportunity to Brag Right.  It’s not bragging since I asked.  It is just sharing.

Image Credit: Sebnem Imece

I attend one of those “Megachurches,” …..The Cincinnati Vineyard Community Church. Besides their mission “To Love the people of Cincinnati into a relationship with God,” the Vineyard strives to be a relevant source for people to develop their faith.

I had an inkling todays message would tie into Super Bowl Sunday.  I was right today’s message “Get in the Game” was woven with numerous sports themes.  Although their message was about volunteering at the church, the message I received was to “Get In the Game” of sharing what touches me with you, the readers of Expert in the Rough.

I consider myself a bit of an Internet enthusiast and I have set some high standards of protocol.  I never want to be perceived as a spa^mmer or novice who passes around chain letters or be the hundredth person to forward you the latest YouTube sensation….hence I might be seen as a sensationalist.

I figure you have probably already seen it.

During today’s message the pastor shared a video of Jason McElwain, you might not recognize the name but the story might ring a bell.  Jason McElwain better known as “J-Mac” to his classmates and teachers is famous for scoring six 3 point baskets in final minutes of his final and only high school basketball game.  Even if you are unfamiliar with basketball this might not sound like much of an accomplishment but for Jason, who was diagnosed with autism as a child this was almost a miracle.

As I watch the video in church today I thought I should share this on my blog, the message I was hearing was “Brian you really don’t share any inspiring stories about others on your blog, this would be a good one to start with.”  God gives me different messages from time to time and this one is not necessarily earth shattering but what the heck.

I hope you enjoy this video about Jason McElwain.

What touched me about the video were two things:

• Jason broke free of his limitations and it led him to places no one could foresee.
• Small acts by a person in a leadership position can change the world.

Join the conversation.  If you are reading this blog post on Facebook, Twitter, Email or other RSS location click over to http://www.expertintherough.com and leave your thoughts in the comments area of each post.

Expert in the Rough is 4 posts away from 100 blog posts.  If it were a TV show it would be time for syndication or “Jumping the Shark.”

A self proclaimed “Self Help Junkie,” I have read just about every “self help” book under the sun.  You know, the classics….Think and Grow Rich, PsychoCybernetics, The Road Less Traveled, The Power of Positive Thinking and don’t get me started with “self help crack” Chicken Soup for the Soul series of books.  Yes, I think I have read them all and I am looking for a new drug, I mean type of book.

I thought you might be burnt out as well on the “self help” craze and looking for a new direction.  I have a new  book category for you “Thought Provoking.”  I have tired of the idea that someone might have an answer for me.  Do I really want to limit myself with the constraints of someone else’s concept of “self help.”

Thought provoking takes self help in a different direction.  Instead of telling me what to do it provokes me to reflect on an idea or a concept and create something new.  You can even take this a step further and not only seek to be provoked but become the provoker.

In todays information age there are plenty of answers available but are there enough people with the courage to provoke new thinking?

Thought provoking material on my nightstand:

• Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior

• This Will Change Everything: Ideas That Will Shape the Future

• Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?

Blogging is an interesting recipe.  One part inspiration, one part obligation, one part guilt and a whole lot more work than you could ever imagine.

The thing I like most about blogging is following an inspiration.  The part I hate is following inspiration and not being able to fully cook my inspiration.  The results of my half baked inspirations lay dormant in my Wordpress and Google Docs as drafts or unfinished inspirations.

Over the weekend I was inspired to share these half baked ideas as cliff notes if you will, a title and a 2-3 sentence explanations of what the blog post was supposed to be about.  I hope you enjoy these.

I am going to call it Inspirational Spring Cleaning.

Last Will and Testament

Blog posts are the new cave drawings.  Blog about your ideas, your wishes for the world and someday you just might get quoted.

The Aladdin Factor

One of my favorite books of all time, ask for what you want and people often will give it to you.  So easy, so simple.  My request, read my blog, make comments on my blog, share it with friends.

Get Out of Your Element

This one of my favorites, that comfy life you have been living might just be holding you back from new ideas and new opportunities.  Carpe Diem my friends, stand on your desk and smell the sunflowers.

The Things I Learned Last Week

This was going to be a recurring blog post, something simple like everything I needed I learned in Kindergarten kind of cheesy.  I believe you can drastically improve the quality of your life by taking a few minutes weekly to reflect on your lessons learned.

Follow the Energy

It has been said the only thing more contagious than enthusiasm is lack of enthusiasm.  I recommend you find someone who inspires you and ride their coat tails.

Just Show Up

This is the little brother of the Aladdin Factor.  In all of my years… my desk and couch are the least lucky places.  Opportunity is directly proportional to the amount of time you place yourself engaging people.

Cash for Clunkers

I think this is a fun concept.  Wouldn’t be great if we could trade in negative co-workers, bad habits and other undesirables for cash.  What would you trade in for cash?

Door Prize

I don’t know where I was headed with this one, but if you are still reading and make a comment on my blog I will send you a book from my extensive business and self help library.  In fact tell me what book you want (ala Aladdin Factor) and If I have it is yours.  Otherwise I will recommend the closest book I have to your topic.  Limit 20 people.  A guess that sounds like a Door Prize.

John Denver and 4 Non Blondes

This was my tribute post about how John Denver’s “Rocky Mountain High” and 4 Non Blondes’ “What’s Up” still impact my life.  Both songs reference a certain age 27 and 25 respectively.  The also reference a great big hill, for whatever that means.  But you realize quickly as I knew you would this is a half baked idea and I am still trying to get up that great big hill of hope.  The truth John and 4 Non were reflecting on life just like I am today 38 years old with a new baby in my life and I must say my perspective has changed.

The Power of Being Real

I might have actually touched on this topic in one of my blog posts.  The act of me sharing these “blog post rejects” is an example of being real.  Who gives an “F” what everyone else thinks.  How many years are you going to live someone else’s life.

The Mirror of Life

Your life is a direct reflection of the thoughts and feelings you have on the inside.  Think of it like a report or an account of your innermost desires and beliefs.  Have you taken the time to look in the mirror or do you prefer to live in the dark?

Blind Faith Strategy

A asteroid or a nuke could end it all today, so aren’t we pretty much always living with Blind Faith.  Life is short so why all of the calculated risks?

100 Ridiculous Things to Do in a Lifetime

This would probably be better titled.  100 stupid things I did in college.  FYI this list does not include urinating off the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge just after the start of the New York City Marathon in 1997 but finishing the marathon might qualify if you get my drift.

Tell me about something ridiculous you would like to do in this lifetime.

The Truth about Starting from Scratch

Unless you are headed back to your momma’s womb there is no such thing.  Quit your pity party and take an account of what positive resources you have in your life.  If you’re breathing that is number 1 on your list.

The Quest for Imperfection

Live and learn, live and let die, if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one your with.  Perfection is the booby prize in life.

Does Your Monkey Have a Name

We all have something that is holding us back in life.  Maybe if you name it you might be able to deal with it.  That way you can tell that Monkey to get off your back.

Blogs and Babies Need Lots of Love and Attention

Note:  Babies need more attention, I am short sighted to mention them in the same sentence

We is More Selfish than I, Let me Tell you Why

Don’t know where I was headed with this one but sounds like an interesting blog post.

Limit, Restrict and Condense

Twitter is so popular because we are all immersed and inundated with too much information.  WE are now in what I call “The Over Information Age.”  Your greatest opportunity for success is providing products or information in condensed format as we enter this age.

Make a Big Splash, Go For the High Dive

Physics – More speed, mass and velocity equal more displaced water.  Why are you limiting yourself to the 3′ board when you can go for the “High Dive”

Risk

Take One!

Who are You, Am I Talking to a Wall

This must be my bloggers Pity Party Post, nobody reads my blog, I must be a bad blogger.  Sorry for those who do read, you are not nobody.  Even inspirational bloggers have bad days.

Track Your Life, Innocent Moments of Big Impact

Like the day you met your best friend, the day you met your wife.  I like to contemplate if certain life acquaintances or circumstances disappeared how different my life might be.

I still think the day I was going to look at an apartment and the landlord did not show up and I found another apartment down the street and eventually my “wife to be” moved in across the street and kind of changed my life.  I know that sentence has a lot of “ands” and yes that is how you know something was a big impact in your life because “and something else” happened.

Go First and Change the World

The world has enough followers, Earth needs more leaders!

The Great Pumpkin Post

I love pumpkins and I love pumpkin pie.  I also love the “Peanuts” Halloween special “The Great Pumpkin.”  I think a lot of people have excuses about their life that are more in line with being “Great Pumpkins” than being real.  Is there any excuses you need to let go of to start living your “Great Life!”

I feel much better now, I hope you do too.

I can now move on to some fresh topics and new inspirations.  Thanks for reading!

You bet, I am headed in the direction you are thinking? What is wrong with you anyway. Get your head out of the gutter!

I said it, “Brass Balls,” like in reference to a pair.

Paul Coulter a great friend and mentor of mine has a pair of Brass Balls, literally a pair suspended in plastic he has on display in his office. Sometimes he takes them on the road when presenting or speaking at business meetings. It’s been a number of years since I heard the story of the Brass Balls but the message behind the balls, still impacts my approach to life.

In fact, I bet you are still reading even though I might have pushed the envelope just a bit. You might say I have “A Pair” to even consider writing about the subject. I must admit it is a calculated risk. I do remember that no one has ever left the room when Paul presented his “Brass Balls” speech to the audience. The meaning behind the “Brass Balls” is so clear I probably don’t even need to tell you what it is.

Sometimes in life you have to take some risks, you are going to have to dig in. If you have no idea what I am talking about some other words for “Brass Balls” include:

• Intestinal Fortitude
• Chutzpah
• Courage
• Endurance
• Vigor
• Heart
• Moxie
• Spunk
• Guts

Since I am sure I have a few women readers, cut me some slack and embrace the intent behind my message.  Yes, I have met a few women over the years who clearly have “A Pair.”

Back to my friend Paul, his message would be hollow if not for his own courage.  I am not sure of Paul’s exact age but its in the 70’s.  I had lost track of Paul for a few years and we reconnected on LinkedIn of all things.  I know people much younger than Paul who are still fearful and bitter about the new business medium called the internet.  I think Paul is on his 3rd website and continues to explore the latest ideas on personal happiness and success.

What kind of risks have you taken lately?

Meet my friend Paul Coulter.

Have you ever been REAL?

It is my belief the biggest risk you will ever take in your life is not being real.

So many people I know are trapped living someone else’s life or vision.

People do this for various reasons, peer pressure, fear of rejection, family values or other social reasons.  I can understand why this happens, maybe you have been made fun of or felt the disappointment in you by a parent or spouse, but is it really worth it?  Do you really want to live somebody else’s life?

I have attended numerous retreats and seminars where people have had the opportunity to be themselves and let their guards down.  The resounding messages I have learned from these experiences are people are very much alike, and people think they are very much different.  That is an interesting statement, we are alike but inherently we feel different.  Maybe the truth is we are all very much different but have the same fears.

Over the last few years I have been focusing on being myself as much as possible.  A favorite business networking event I attend is called “Your Business is Personal,” meaning is there really anything in life that is not personal?   If everything is personal then why are we living such separate lives?  In my quest to bring my personal life to all that I do, I think they call that having personality, I have learned I have missed out an many opportunities.  Opportunities that were not presented because no one knew about my interests or passions.

Earlier I mentioned the well known risks of being yourself, which can be summed up with one term REJECTION, but there are other risks.  If you are not being yourself you might attract friends, spouses, careers and lifestyles that are not a match.  That is a big price to pay.

On the other side, by being yourself you might find there is that life you always dreamed of waiting for you.  How many years are you going to waste being something that you are not?

If you are not being yourself then who are you?

Be Real, it’s worth the Risk and Reward.

Photo Credit – Sundeip Arora of Sundesign

Some people are just flat out lucky.

Some people are flat out prepared.

Some people are both.

If I were a betting man, I would bet on the person who practices and prepares for their dreams.  Most people will believe that person is lucky, but more often than not they are prepared.

Preparation and luck are strange bedfellows.  Preparation seems to bring the best out of Luck.

Ladies and Gentleman, my bet is on Preparation.  Are you ready to Ante Up?

Over the 4th of July weekend my wife and I put together a plan to train for a Triathlon (Not an IronMan) in October.  Part of the plan included fitness and conditioning and part of the plan included a healthy diet (for me mostly), she already eats healthy.  Part of my plan was eating a high protein low fat breakfast everyday.

After the Holiday my wife and I stocked up on supplies for the week and my journey began.  Egg Whites, Egg Beaters, Protein Pancakes and Spinach were/are my primary options.  I will be honest these are not bad options compared to a “Honey Bun” for breakfast (hard to hide the wrappers).  By mid week, however, my commitment was beginning to slip.  Twice I almost ran out the door with breakfast a sure failure but something kept me on track (I think they call it a wife).

Week two on Sunday I realized I had made it 7 days and I was actually excited to go shopping for my breakfast supplies.  On Tuesday of week two I had lost 2 pounds and now I was getting excited.  By the end of the second week my internal voice had made a shift, it said “Brian, why are you so special that you think you can skip a health breakfast?”  Yes, I responded and yes,  I just might be crazy but “Who am I to skip breakfast anyway?”

My new found voice has me confident and beaming as I realize, I just hit the magic habit creation mark of 21 Days.

It has been said it takes 21 days to develop a new habit by numerous scholars, philosophers and self help gurus.  I have employed the principle numerous times in my life but this is the first time I have noticed it in reverse.  I must say after 21 days of successfully eating a healthy breakfast, I do feel I am well on my way to a new habit.  I did not set out to make it 21 days specifically but with 3 weeks of breakfast under my belt, I do feel momentum taking hold.

I wanted to share this with you on a number for a number of reasons.

1. If you are unfamiliar with the “21 Day Theory” you can add it to your “trick bag” of success tips.

2. If you are using the the “21 Day Theory” be sure you take it day by day.  I had no real pressure on myself for this commitment, I just decided to do it.  I am really very amazed at how easy it was.

FYI – for the record we are not going to do the Triathlon now, but we are still training in a similar manner.

21 Day Theory Link

Good Luck with your new habits.

If you are at a loss on what you can do to impact the world, do not fret.

I have a very simple solution.

Share What You Know!

It does not matter how simple or silly the idea or need.  The world is just looking for somebody to share their wisdom.

Formalize it and turn it into a blog.

Here are some ideas:

• Teach someone how to change their motor oil.
• Teach someone how to set up a Gmail Account
• Teach someone how to use Google Reader
• Teach someone how to care for tomatoes
• Teach someone how to cook a crepe
• Teach someone how to write a Haiku
• Teach someone how to organize their files
• Teach someone how to care for a baby
• Teach someone how to train a dog

This quite simply is the easist way I know to make the world a better place.  Simply Share What You Know!